How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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