I just cut my nipple shaving
I smell stomach acid.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
im on a boat
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