she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
All the doctor said was why
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
