i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
