did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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