I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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