its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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