Farmville is her only friend.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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