Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
