I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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