My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
