Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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