Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
