i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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