i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
