Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
