I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
