So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ugly people sure do ruin things
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
