Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize