Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
