even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
