This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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