So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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