she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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