There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
