Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
