Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
