her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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