Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
