talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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