Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
