She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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