Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
