Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
