Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
