literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
