I'm going to jail i love you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
