My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
