so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
