check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
