I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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