So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
