I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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