He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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