I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
