I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
