I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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