You really coming over, don't trick.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
