just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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