six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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